I think that communication with other people is one of the hardest things that human beings use. It's just so complex and has so many levels to it, because there are so many factors that effect how people know how to communicate. I know for me personally when I'm angry initially I don't like to talk. I just need time to get over my anger before I can really address the problem or the reason why I'm mad because otherwise I'm too hotheaded and will say a whole bunch of things I don't mean. And meaning things brings up another (I guess a section?) of communication that I believe causes problems. What do people mean when they say the things they say? I'm completely positive that every single person does not view conversations the same way. And since they don't how does one convey what they mean when there seems to be some sort of barrier (or semipermeable membrane! haha I'm feeling in the bio mood) preventing the person they're talking to from understanding. This is (i'm guessing) is the main reason that I feel like I had to make this point! I tried to convey my feelings (which is not something that I like to do usually because people don't understand :p ) and I felt as if I wasn't even being heard!! ( I know damn well not to do that again). I don't know if what I was saying didn't make sense or if they took my words for a different meaning. But the conversation didn't work and I had to get out of it. I try so hard to be a good conversationalist and understand that the world isn't linear and try to see all the sides to every story when I'm listening to people (Though I know i'm not close to perfect hence the word try). I also try to be really honest when the person needs me to be or optimistic or realistic or whatever. But I literally feel emotional-wise and conversation-wise that I give soooo much and everyone takes and takes!! Yet when it;s really important and I need to take from someone I never seem to get what I need and that's so frustrating for me!! I'm a bottler (this means that I bottle my feelings up alot) so when this happens I just bottle up my feelings and I know it's not healthy. I feel as if one day i'm going to explode!! Even though I'm a bottler I still like to at least attempt to talk things out about most stuff ( i also bottle my feelings up about certain things for another reason but thats a different philosophical conversation all together). I believe that talking and conversations are too important for their to be a barrier. Wait I've been sidetracked I also had another point lol! Where we come from and how we group up effects us in EVERY way (especially conversations). They way I speak is a reflection of how my parents speak with my own special twist on it! I feel like people's backgrounds are another barrier because they haven't seen what you've seen and they haven't lived through what you lived through so they couldn't possibly know everything you know when it comes to conversations, and frankly that pisses me off emensely! Like I said before I try to be a very understanding person (though I don't always succeed) but sometimes I get angry when I try to understand other people and I feel like i don't get the same treatmeant! But I also think that I'm angry because I dont know what the other person is feeling and (their probally trying to sincere) it's really hard to have a conversation when I have my own opinions and feelings and not knowing theirs. I'm not a perfect human and I put a damn good effort into trying to regulate myself and put myself on the same level as the people I'm communicating with, but I know i'm not very good at it. lol whatever, I feel like I've divulged to much into myself to be very phillosophical!!
But part 2 of Go Hard and end up at home is next!!!
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